I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
