this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize