at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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