Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
