Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
