so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
