so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
