the condom got lost in my hair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
