so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
