how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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