if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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