I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
