I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You ruined the universe
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
