love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
