just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
how does that bad decision feel?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
