I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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