shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
