He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
