i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
