I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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