I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
