is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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