Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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