I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
