my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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