Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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