how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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