Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we should paint friendship bongs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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