I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
