Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
