Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
