You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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