We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
