from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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