We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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