I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
