I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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