hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
