I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize