Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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