I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
