the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
