Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize