Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
