its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
