I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
