Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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