In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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