i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
