I seem to have left my pride at pride
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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