He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
