I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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