It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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