Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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