i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
