I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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