im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
