Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize