I smell stomach acid.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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