Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
