READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just invented taco cereal.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize