He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
