Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
