shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
