Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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