Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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