Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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