My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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